I live in farmland, where I get to learn a lot about cows, if only because they’re my closest neighbors. I’ve discovered that there are only certain things that cows do. It doesn’t matter the weather, cows don’t seem to change their behavior very much. Here’s a rundown of cowish activities. Cows:
- Eat grass
- Drink water from a big nasty tub
- Lie down
- Stand up
- Drop cow patties
- Walk in their cow patties
- Get rained or snowed on
- Occasionally mount each other (gender doesn’t matter)
- Stare at me as I pass by (see also: cows are creepy)
- Occasionally get milked or eaten
I’ve also noticed that cows like to do the same thing as other cows. If you’ve got a group of ten cows, much of the time they will all be standing up, or all of them will be lying down. If your cow buddies are standing up and you’re lying down, that’s a major cow faux pas.
if I ever happen to catch cows doing anything other than these specific things that I have noticed that cows do, I will be sure to report back. But I’m not holding my breath.