Brian Crawford

The website of Brian Anthony Crawford

Brian Crawford

on breakfast

“I will need to eat a good nutritious breakfast in order to crush all those who oppose me!”

– unknown conqueror

there is something magical about a good breakfast. I’m talking all the breakfast food groups – bacon, sausage, eggs, home fries with ketchup, toast with strawberry jam and a big mug of coffee with cream. So some of the food groups are underrepresented and others have stolen the spotlight, but that’s just how it is.

this morning I took my Honda to Canadian Tire to get (wait for it)… some tires. We live in a rather snowy part of Canada and the car was in dire need of some better traction so that I could spend my road time driving my car rather than freezing my butt off in a ditch waiting for a tow truck (I’ve been there, believe me). I chose the Michelin X-Ice, a tire made by a company whose head office is located, believe it or not, in Clermont-Ferrand, France, home of one of my alma maters! I’d say it’s a small world, but I’m still recovering from the 28-hour trip from there to here so I happen to know otherwise.

after dropping off my car I walked over to a nearby diner to grab a mug of coffee and do some writing (and here I am!) and I noticed that they had a Big Breakfast item on their menu – 3 eggs, 2 different meats, 3 slices of toast and home fries all for $5.99 Canadian. Since I’m still used to crazy expensive Irish prices that sounded like a pretty good deal to me so I went for it. It was just what the doctor ordered – although in this case the doctor actually ordered you not to eat it. Still, it was darn good.

the magical thing about big breakfasts is that they only work at breakfast-time. That is because you need the rest of the day to recover from eating them. While you’re shoving down those forkfuls of goopy egg-covered toast and greasy sausage you’re saying to yourself, “I’ll work this off during the day; maybe I’ll have a light lunch and go for a long walk later this afternoon.” This is mostly wishful thinking of course, but big breakfasts are a catalyst for good intentions.

in Ireland the restaurant at Allied Irish Banks used to serve the occasional breakfast at lunchtime. They called it a “Mixed Grill” which is the Irish term for “Big-Ass Breakfast”. I tended to avoid the Mixed Grill when they had it; for one thing, 12:30 is rather late to be eating such fare, and for another thing whenever I did choose to partake of the Mixed Grill at lunchtime an hour or two afterward I could be found snoring with my head on my desk and drooling all over my keyboard. Sleeping at your desk is a well known productivity killer so no Mixed Grill, thanks, at least at lunchtime.

in another hour or so I’ll walk back to Canadian Tire to pick up the car. You may not believe this but it is snowing outside – again – so the new tires should come in handy during my drive home. Although if I do go into a breakfast-induced coma and fall asleep at the wheel I might very well end up in a ditch anyway. I’d better call and pre-order that tow truck.

3 thoughts on “on breakfast

  • You’re making me hungry here.

    Also, Aphex rules.


  • Ahhh brings back memories of lunch at JayDeeess!

  • I completely agree with your take on enormous breakfasts. There’s something deeply and seriously satisfying about them that really defies description. But I disagree with you about timing: there’s one other time of day besides normal breakfast-time that they work. And that’s in the wee hours of the morning, maybe when you’re a little bit tipsy but not falling-down drunk.


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